Tuesday, September 15, 2015

On Dadding


     What is dadding?

According to <> dadding is defined as, "any act being or related to being a dad."  Easy enough.  So it goes without saying that all bad dad puns and corny dad jokes fall into the category of "related to being a dad."  Y.E.S.

People often ask me what my favorite activity or hobby is and I respond by telling them it's dadding.  Some are mystified, others think I'm joking, but there are some of you who know exactly what I'm talking about.  Sha-bing-bam!  Feel free to run around in a fit of joy, now.

Ok....Take your seat.

Finish reading this article like your life depends on it.

Here are 3 of my favorite perks about being a professional in my favorite sport, which is dadding:

1.  You get a lifetime membership to the bad joke club:
Congratulations!  You now have access to all the bad jokes your
brain conceive.  
Bonus:  Your kid usually will think you're funny.
As any professional in the field of dadding will attest, having unlimited access to the jokes is one of the most luxurious perks.  Forget about comedic timing.  Forget about the joke making sense.  As long as you think it is funny and it annoys your spouse or child, you are in the zone, my man.  Go for it.  Two in a row, you're heating up.  Three in a row...HE'S ON FIRE!!!!

The really great thing about your lifetime membership is that nothing is off limits.  The world is an oyster for your joking pleasure.  I propose that a bunch of us old pros get together and compile an anthology of the best bad dad jokes.  We won't release it to the public of course, this one stays among the brotherhood only.  (Be sure to show your member id at the door.  K thanks.)

2.  When you're not at work you can dress like a slob and know one cares because you are actively dadding.

Once inducted into the noble sport, the dress code is off.  You work hard for your money.  You spend your free time chasing cute little banshees around at a zillion miles an hour.  If you slip up a little on your sleek debonair look, no one cares.  So what if your socks are different colors?  So what if you have a case of perpetual Saturday bedhead?  You're doing what dads do best, which is dadding.
Feel free to look like a bum.
I call this on the "Kangaroo Stud."

 I'm not saying that becoming of a member of the prestigious club means you throw off all responsibilities to your personal appearance.  (On weekends I look maybe 2 degrees north of hobo, if that.)  Looking presentable has a place.  So does taking care of your hygiene.  Trust me, your spouse appreciates if you shower at least once a week.  But if you let your look slip a little bit, it is your right as a participant in the noble sport of dadding.  Let no man look-shame you, ever!  

 ***It must also be noted that 15 years from now, the way you dressed at family get-togethers and soccer games will be the subject of many laughs.  

3.  Your Kid is Always Happy to See You.

In our noble sport, there is no Lombardi Trophy, no Stanley Cup.  What we win is much greater.  We win daily.  It's really not fair.  But it's the least we can be repaid for putting our necks on the line day-in and day-out.  There are great risks to dadding, too many to be enumerated here.  But with great risk comes great reward.  One of my favorites is that my kid is ALWAYS happy to see me.
The kid is always happy to see me.  For The Win.

The other day I had a nightmare of a workday.  My students were off the wall crazy.  I had to break up fights.  Write incident reports.  I had extra meetings to go to after my day in the classroom, then the hour commute home.  By the time arrived at my driveway that evening, 16 hours had elapsed since the time I left that morning.  I was beat.  Stressed.  I felt like a quivering heap, incompetent and at a loss. soon as I opened the door, Olive (my daughter) shouted my name and kept made everything else in my day worth it.  Dad for the win.

In the noble sport of dadding, you always win, because your kid is happy to see you.

Are you an old pro in the noble sport.  Share with us some of your epic tales.  Thinking about joining up, feel free to send us your questions and comments.

Until then, DAD ON!  Do what you do and be excellent!



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