A Home Buying Journey Part Two: The Necessity of Things

When we registered for our wedding, I barely put anything on our registry. I believe there were about 30-40 items total, meaning that each pillowcase for our duvet cover were listed as one item. I didn't want to be greedy, and to be honest, I wanted to make sure we were only getting what we needed and not overcrowding our tiny one bedroom apartment we were renting at the time. Maybe it was living in a developing nation for three months shortly before getting married that caused this minimalism. For the most part, other than a few quirky gifts, we received a lot of gift cards, which helped us not only buy things we felt we really needed, but some even helped us with simple necessities like buying groceries.

For some, not all, there is a stigma around gift cards and buying off of registries. I used to be in that category. Giving "personal" gifts seemed so much more creative. Finally, a talk with a soon-to-be married friend gave me some perspective. She told me that her and her almost-husband already had been living lives outside of their parents homes and had most of what a newly married couple would need. They had decided to register for camping equipment as they were going backpacking in Europe for their honeymoon. 

When we found out we were pregnant and it was coming time to start the registry process, a friend gave me some of the best advice I received (however I have heard it is very different from some of my "boy mom" friend's experience). She said don't bother registering for blankets or clothes. People will get them for you. To be honest, we got very little of what we actually needed in actual gifts but a lot of gift cards, which helped. In the end, while Olive stayed in preemie and newborn clothes for quite some time, she grew out of anything 0-9 months very quickly. So many outfits I dreamed of putting her in from before she could wear clothes are packed away, never worn. I have stored a lot of her clothes on the off chance she has a little sister, but a part of me feels completely guilty that someone possibly wasted money on those items otherwise. 

Because of this, when it came time for Olive's birthday, we kindly suggested making donations to various charities in her name or making a deposit to her future fund. Being able to begin saving for her future as early as her first year of life has been the most rewarding gift to give. 

It all made me realize is, how much "stuff" do we really need? 

I am the worst when it comes to thinking I need something new. We need a new TV, we need a new duvet cover, we need new curtains. I have a long running, seemingly never ending list of items I think we "need." On the other hand,  I am the kind of person who feels that I need to hide all of my crazy when people come over, very similar to Monica Gellar and her "secret closet". 

Recently I woke up and decided I needed to get rid of my "secret closet" and began my journey of purging everything. So far we have donated 5 or more bags of clothing, a bag of shoes, sold some DVDs and are working on other parts of our house. It is surprisingly easier than I anticipated and very freeing! 

As we move towards buying a new home and keeping in mind that we could be moving to a space the size of our current apartment including one more bedroom, deciding what we really need versus what we just "think" we need has become increasingly important. I want to teach Olive to value and care for the things she has, but also not to put so much importance on "things". 

8 Lifehacks for the Joyful Runner

8 Lifehacks for the Joyful Runner:

Running is quite possibly the oldest sport known to man.  Whether our forefathers engaged in this noble pursuit recreationally or out of necessity, mankind has been running since the dawn of time…and maybe even before that. 

As a youth and as a young man I always dabbled in running as a means of staying in shape for whatever sport was coming up next.  But about three years ago, I began to run as an end unto itself.  In reflecting upon my running journey thus far, here are 8 tips I’ve discovered that will keep you improving in your running, and will also keep your running fresh and fun.

1.   Run Barefoot:  This discovery alone has transformed the way I run.  It took me from running as a chore to stay in shape, to putting away the miles effortlessly.  Running barefoot increases foot strength and supports your body’s natural running form.  As you run, you’ll notice your alignment and posture will get better, your back will straighten and your lungs will take in more oxygen.   While I don’t recommend logging all your weekly mileage running barefoot, running 5-10 minutes a week for the beginner is a good way to start.  For more info from the experts check out Barefoot Ted or Ken Bob.  These two are the modern day gurus of barefoot running. 

Barefoot Ted McDonald is considered by many to be one
of the top endurance athletes of all time. 

2.  Go For Group Runs or Have a Running Buddy:  Literally all, I’m talking all of the miles I logged the first 2 ½ years of my running journey I ran solo.  Only during the past 6 months have I begun going for group runs and partner runs.  For me, running with others is a great way to break up the monotony and log miles on days when I’m less motivated.   It’s also great for grinding out long runs and/or finding people who are training for similar events as me.  A running buddy, just like a workout buddy is also excellent to keep yourself accountable to your goals.  Plus, did I mention that running with people is fun?  

3.  Bring Water:  As a competitive athlete for most of my life, running was viewed as an act of pure conditioning to cultivate mental toughness.  I.E. water was an award for after the run.  When I began training for marathons and ultramarathons, I had to eventually learn to run with water and drink on the go.  I’ve found this makes the running experience more enjoyable.  You’ll recover faster and prevent all kinds of running related injuries with this simple practice.  Nowadays even if it’s just a short 30-minute run, I still bring a bottle of water with me.  There are tons of options for bringing water with you while you run.  My favorite is this handheld bottle made by Ultimate Direction. 

My favorite hydration tool:
The Handy 20 by
Ultimate Direction.

4.  Know How to Track Your Progress:  Having a goal in mind helps.  Races and events are excellent ways to track your progress and add fun to your training.  Know when and how to track your mileage and listen to your body to find a sweet spot.  While tracking weekly mileage can be useful, logging the amount of time you spend on your feet and how hard you run is also important.  For example, if you had a daily mileage goal of 5 miles per day, but it was 100 degrees outside when you ran, then 3.5 miles would be a good equivalent in terms of the stress you’ll put on your body.  Intensity is also important.  The impact you’ll put on your body running 4 miles at a 7 minute per mile pace may be the same as running 7 miles at an 11 minute pace.  Again, while tracking mileage is important, it is equally important to be aware of how hard you run, how hard you feel like you have run, and how long you were running. 

McKinney Roughs Nature Park:
One of my favorite ways to "Mix it Up"

5.  Mix it Up:  To prevent overuse injuries and to break up the monotony, mix up your routes and the types of terrain on which you run.  One of the reasons I love to travel so much is that I know I’ll get to experience running in a different environment.  If you run mostly on the road or in neighborhoods, try finding a park with some nearby trails for a new experience.  If you log most of your miles on the treadmill, step outside on the weekend and give it a go.  The possibilities are endless.  Running on roads is great for building up durability in your legs.  Running off road and on trails is great training for balance and running with your whole body. 

6.   Walking is Good:  In my past as a competitive athlete, walking was never an option.  When running became my main form of exercise, this mentality carried over.  You were literally more likely to find me dead on the side of the road in pursuit of my daily mileage than to see me walking.  I’ve learned from the error of my ways.  As ultramarathoning legend Dean Karnazes says, “Run when you can, walk if you have to, crawl if you must, just never give up.”  There’s no shame in walking if you have to.  You are still going to build up your endurance and spend time on your feet.  In fact, I walked during portions of my last marathon, something I’ve never done before, and I still finished with a personal best.  Walking will also help with recovery time if you’re doing a long run. 

7.  Crosstrain:  Along the same lines as the “Mix it Up” point, crosstraining is vital.  It will keep you strong, keep you fast, and most importantly it is great for injury prevention.  In my case, I mix in one day a week of crossfit and one day a week of weight training.  Other runners I talk to like to mix in a day of swimming, biking or hiking.  Have fun with it.  It’s a great way to “take a day off” by still keeping your fitness level up.  Crosstraining also aids in building up strength in areas of your body that may be neglected if all you do is run.  Balance is vital for the joyful runner, and crosstraining provides much needed balance.    

8.  Have Fun:  At the end of the day is this not what it’s all about?  I wouldn’t keep doing it if it wasn’t fun, and neither would the millions of others out there who are passionate about running.  So on the days your miles seem insurmountable, just remember to keep it light, keep it fun and to be thankful that you can keep on running. 

A Home Buying Journey: Faithful in the Small Things

Co-Authored by Matthew Monk

When we signed our lease last year, we decided that we wanted to get out of the vicious cycle of renting. Each month as we have paid rent, it is as if we just see our money going down a drain. 

For those who are unaware of our situation, when our daughter was born premature, we were advised to do what we can to keep her out of daycare. Not to mention, since I was previously a Preschool Teacher myself, we would most likely   barely break even to pay for her care with what I would make. 

Being a one-income family is difficult and demands a lot of sacrificing from all parties. On the other hand, we have seen so much favor and have received provision when we needed it most. It is definitely a growth process.   But something about making a decision and being faithful to follow-through with it is so satisfying.   And to be honest, has added quality to our lives even though our finances on paper would argue the contrary.  Being a one-income family has forced us to crunch our numbers and really wrestle with the questions:  What do we really need?  What do we really want?   (And) What is most important to us?

As humans, we are called to be good stewards of our resources.  Having been married for almost three years and having paid rent for almost all of those three years, we gradually began to realize that at a certain level, having a big chunk of our monthly income being thrown into the black hole of renting was preventing us from stewarding our resources at a level we desired.  As our perspective shifted, renting seemed wasteful and buying a home became a necessity.

So we made a clear decision:  We are going to buy a home even if it’s on only one income.  Why?

1.     We are already making ends meet on one income.  In buying a home we put ourselves in a place of ownership, moving our mortgage payments into the realm of creating an asset for ourselves rather than someone else.  In our experience, renting is a perpetual liability and is an investment that creates no value.  Also, in buying we can potentially pay less per month to own a home than we currently pay in rent.

2.     Part-time and extra income goes towards enjoyment, luxuries and paying off other debt.  Since we already make it work on one income, we are not depending on other money to cover our monthly overhead.  Any other money whether it be from side jobs, stipends or part-time work goes toward expenses not included in our normal monthly budget.  The way we see it, even if we were a two-income household, we would not want to depend on the second income to cover our expenses.  Being a one-income household also provides us the opportunity to have someone at home with Olive during her crucial developmental years.

We began discussing our future plans for buying a home nearly a month ago. While we were actively making plans, we had a mutual feeling of waiting until after our vacation to make any moves. It all began at our overnight stay at Stefanie’s family’s house. A short conversation with her grandmother about her and Stefanie’s grandfather’s first home really resonated with us. They were a young couple with a baby. They were trying to get out of the cycle of paying someone else and get into a home of their own, so they did what people of their generation did. They started small.  They bought a two-room house that didn’t have a bathroom in the home (outhouse, anyone?). 

Luckily, now days, there are much better options for starter homes, and we decided to cut our budget by over $50k- or roughly $300-$400 per month off of our would- be mortgage payment. Bringing it (hopefully) to a number lower than our rent payment.  As far as homes go, in most cases, though, it also meant cutting down our wish list. Square footage, amount of bathrooms, yard size, age of home and possibly a garage, storage space and so on and so on. 

Our next stop was Jackson, Mississippi to visit some friends. When we go visit, we typically stay in a much older home with one to two bedrooms and very small living spaces. The home we were staying in this particular time was probably less than 800 square feet. While it was definitely not our dream home, it had a lot of potential. Not to mention it was a home. When we left we had a whole new perspective on how much space we actually need in our home.

Matt and I both can look back on the homes we grew up in. They were modest.  There wasn’t tons of space, but we weren’t uncomfortable.  We grew up with secondhand furniture, or furniture that someone else helped our parents buy and generally if there was a something that broke and needed to be fixed, our moms and dads didn’t immediately call a repairman.  They fixed it themselves.  We didn’t grow up in homes with the latest features.  But our homes were still that---they were homes.  Our families bought what they could afford, lived within their means, invested in their home environment, and eventually upgraded.  Neither set of our parents began in their “dream home.”  What we realized throughout the course of our vacation was that we were okay with not buying a “dream home”. 

We are always ready for a miracle in our finances, but until then, we want to be faithful in the small things, because it is the small things, that grow and mature and become what we dream of.